Gaara's Triple Existence for a Day
by Witchdoctr
Summary: Gaara splits into three of himself (little gaara, murderous Gaara, and Kazekage Gaara) and Naruto has to make sure that each of them is taken care of. Fill for a Tumblr request. Crackfic. Some drama and romance? A bit all over the place, the lightest thing I've ever written, which means it's still somewhat angsty but mostly comedy. OOC for comic purposes, weirdness galore.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I am not Kishimoto, but if I were, either NaruGaa or NaruSasu would be canon already. But they are not. So by this logic, I am not the owner and artist of Naruto. **

**Prompt: Gaara splits into three of himself (little gaara, murderous Gaara, and Kazekage Gaara) and Naruto has to make sure that each of them is taken care of. You know, Naruto hugging lil' Gaara while he's crying, stopping murderous Gaara from killing everyone, and just hugging stressed out Kazekage Gaara? **

**Prompt provided by storyteller-louise via Tumblr. **

**Warnings: Fluff (why do I need to warn you of that?), yaoi (don't like don't READ), nothing explicit or very dark at all. Arguably the lightest thing I've ever written. **

**Hugely EXAGGERATED characterization (OOC) for comedic purposes. **

**I also warn you that I'm not very funny, more sarcastic, so I apologize if it's really not that funny. **

**Also, HUGE mood whiplash like halfway through. Just a warning. **

**Also... this is very much a crack fic. **

* * *

Naruto was having a very bad day.

Today had been very... difficult.

Normally, he'd be very happy to tackle challenges. It was after all his ninja way, to never back away from things and take the easy way out. He never ran away from trouble; he ran at it head on and never broke promises. It was his motto, his credo, his way of life, his entire belief system.

But damn this was getting ridiculous. Even ninjas had a limit to the shit they were willing to put up with.

So when his day had started, it had been very simple.

The Kazekage of the Sand was coming to Konoha for a personal visit. Naruto was to accompany him. It wasn't a mission or anything really serious; in fact, Naruto had volunteered, eager to spend a day with his red-haired enemy-turned-friend. He'd grown quite fond of Gaara, despite the long-time it had been since they'd seen each other. He'd actually been looking for to this day. A lot. He'd woken up early, at about one o' clock, to run a comb through his hair with little effect and then ran out to go meet Gaara at the gates.

He'd been about to shout a greeting and an invitation to lunch (sleeping built up quite an appetite) when he'd seen _them._

And they'd stopped him in his tracks completely. And his day had gotten much, much harder from there and would only continue to go from bad to worse.

"Uh-Gaara?"

Um, Naruto thought, did I drink expired milk again? Did I get a bad batch of Ramen from Ichiraku?

Gaara hadn't said anything at all, just staring at Naruto with disdain.

Well, one of him.

That was what confused Naruto.

There were _three _Gaaras.

When had that happened?

How _could _that happen?

Naruto really had no idea. And he really didn't care either, because his main trouble was accompanying Gaara when there were three of him.

Three Gaaras.

The one he'd been expecting, the Kazekage and most current Gaara, who looked hassled and confused but in his usual stoic way, meaning Naruto had to assume he was as confused and hassled as he himself was.

It was hard to tell with him.

A little one, an adorable little Gaara without an ai tattoo on his forehead that Naruto had wanted to hug when he'd first glanced at him. He looked very shy and sensitive and Naruto had been struck with the desire to pick him up and hug him. Though the poor thing looked like he would faint and actually clung to Kazekage Gaara's leg. Aww, cute! Naruto felt what Sakura (and everyone familiar with it) would call a "stupid, goofy smile" creep on his face.

All little Gaara saw was an energetic weirdo ninja in a flamboyant orange jumpsuit and poofy white collar with a slow-moving, huge smile on his face. Understandably his grip around the Kazekage's leg tightened.

But... the last one was the first Gaara Naruto had ever come in contact with.

The one he didn't like quite so much.

The one who was giving him so much trouble.

"Gaara I swear if you-"

The murderous, violent Gaara from the Chunin exams stared at him coldly. Naruto's threat froze in his mouth.

"Uh-"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. His sand swirled ominously under his feet and a few of the innocent bystanders stared at him nervously, many of them quite rightly backing off.

"Whatever you do, don't look at him the wrong way!" Naruto shout-whispered.

"My purpose is to kill," Gaara murmured. He growled something in his baritone rumbly now-I-kill-voice.

"What?"

"..."

"I didn't catch that."

"Naruto!"

Naruto turned around and in that split second, the murderous Gaara had slunk away. By the time he'd looked back, he couldn't see him anymore.

"Damn!" Naruto cursed.

"I apologize," Kazekage Gaara said. "I need-"

"How did this even happen?!"

Gaara shook his head. He didn't know.

Naruto took a tight grip of his bright blond hair. "Ahhhh, this makes no sense! What is wrong with the world?" he bemoaned.

"Naruto-"

But whatever Kazekage Gaara was saying was interrupted by the very loud, gritty rushing noise that could only be a vast quantity of sand rushing to an area and screams that implied violence. "Shit."

Naruto darted across the roofs of Konoha, trying to pinpoint and chase down the bad Gaara with a dozen or so shadow clones.

"Bad Gaara! Bad Gaara!" he (they) yelled.

Now one Gaara he might've been able to handle. Hell, he had back when he'd had to save Sasuke's ass.

But now he had three Gaaras to contend with.

One of which was trying to _talk _to him rather than help out rather than subduing his murderous, crazy past self. The one that was clearly the _most _capable of dealing with the problem...

"Naruto, there is something important I wish to tell you-" Kazekage Gaara rasped.

"Why...aren't...you...helping...me?" Naruto panted, taking a brief second to regain his breath. "I could really-"

Someone started screaming.

Naruto rushed towards the sound, ignoring the now silent Gaara who stared at his retreating back with a stoic, flat concentration.

But for a guy that never moved in battle, murderous Gaara was rather fast. By the time Naruto had made it to the location, several people were lying flat on their backs covered in sand, shaken but unhurt. Apparently Chunin Gaara hadn't found a good enough victim, something Konohamaru had actually bemoaned ("what, he doesn't think I'm good enough to kill?").

Naruto was getting rather fed up.

He took another brief second to think, leaning against the wall of a house, trying to catch his breath again.

And he flinched and jump several inches into the air when he felt something gripping his pants.

"No! No blood! You don't get my pants! No kill! Killing is bad! Friendship is good!" he shouted in alarm. He'd had nightmares for weeks after seeing and fighting Gaara's Shukaku that first time during the Chunin exams.

Giant toad or not, the thing was scary. Eugh. Those creepy-ass eyes and big, mishappen body, Gaara's strained, sleepless, nutso eyes...

He looked down, but to his great relief it wasn't sand gripping him.

It was little Gaara.

"Um..."

He wasn't sure how to deal with kids.

Little Gaara stared at him stolidly. He wanted to shrug him off and tell him to beat it, but...

Gaara seemed shy. And withdrawn. And Naruto felt his heart stuttering.

_So...freaking...cute. _

"Awww, you're awfully cute," Naruto said, smiling at him. The small redhead didn't smile or even blink, but his grip tightened, fingers twisting the orange fabric stronger. "Are-are you scared or something? Hungry?"

Gaara shook his head.

"Listen kid, uh, you seem cute and all, but I've gotta go deal with your sociopathic slash psychopathic future self who is really more like a past self because your future self isn't a total dickbag and is actually the somewhat attractive current Kazekage of the Sand, so you're gonna have to release my leg and just be a good boy and stay here-"

"You... don't want me to be here?"

Naruto froze mid-step.

Gaara's...voice...was...adorable.

And it had suddenly gotten all trembly and insecure.

"No, I just think you should be alone for... uh-"

Gaara's eyes turned unbearably sad.

Before they started to tremble.

"Aw-no!" Naruto wailed. "Don't cry! I'm sorry! I-"

"No one likes me," Gaara said quietly. "No one ever wants me. You're afraid of me, aren't you? Just like everyone else. I try and I try, but no matter what I do, love escapes me..."

Naruto fell to his knees and pulled Gaara into a huge, friendly hug.

Well, he tried.

He got a mouthful of sand, anyway.

Points for effort? No. Gaara looked even more upset, his arms outstretched for a hug that didn't-couldn't come.

"Argh-fush-shand," Naruto choked. He spat it out. "Bleck."

Gaara looked like he was going to lose it. His cute bottom lip trembled.

"Hey hey hey!" Naruto said hastily. "It's ok! It's ok! I promise... things get better! I promise. Everyone's gonna love you one day, I swear! Everybody! Your whole village! Trust me! I know! Just talk to your older self. I mean, not the angry one that's running around right now. I mean the older one. The more attr-the one with the maroon-ish red outfit. Yeah, yeah, talk to him! Uh, I have to... scram. But it's not because I don't like you and want to pinch your chubby cheeks; it's because your older self is...is... death."

He dashed off again, trying to leave a crestfallen small Gaara without looking back and feeling guilt. He failed, but kept going, yelling over his shoulder to "find your older, older self and give him a hug, I think he needs one too!"

Surprisingly enough, when he found murderous Gaara, he was already talking to that "older older" self.

"I don't understand," murderous Gaara murmured.

"Naruto is a friend," the Kazekage repeated. "Konoha is not the enemy."

"My only purpose... is to prove that my existence... is stronger than YOURS!"

"..."

"..."

"We share the same existence. I think."

"Gaara? Gaara!" Naruto shouted. He wasn't sure which Gaara would win if it came to a fight. Sure, Kazekage Gaara was powerful, but he didn't have Shukaku's power anymore and he didn't have the insatiable blood lust that made him such a deadly opponent in the past. Also, well, he was worried nonetheless. Gaara was his friend. He didn't want him to get hurt.

"Naruto-"

"I-" Naruto let out a gust of air, but before he could continue, little Gaara had somehow caught up.

Kazekage Gaara started towards him, but to his (their?) surprise, murderous Gaara got to him first.

Little Gaara stared at him curiously. Murderer-Gaara gestured for him to come closer. Hesitantly, little Gaara crept up to him, his eyes wide and wary.

"Uh, I don't think I like-"

"Naruto," Kazekage Gaara spoke suddenly. "Perhaps now I can ask-"

"NO DON'T DO IT, TINY GAARA!" Naruto shouted.

Little Gaara was within striking distance.

Naruto lunged at murderous Gaara.

"Baka."

Funny how one word coming from three different Gaaras could come out with the exact same tone.

Naruto spat out offending sand crossly. "Argh, it's in my hair! You know how long it takes sand to get out of my PANTS? It gets in everywhere!"

Murderous Gaara didn't even glance at him. He hadn't even had to lift his hand to stop Naruto's idiotic charge, a wall of sand instantly shielding him from the clumsy attack.

Naruto should've remembered that.

Murderous Gaara, unperturbed by Naruto's antics, rubbed little Gaara's fluffy red hair. _Soft, _Gaara thought. _Very soft. Delicate. _

"Listen," murderous Gaara whispered low. "Love no one but yourself. I love you. You don't need anyone else but me. You. Yourself."

Little Gaara looked doubtful.

"But-but I-"

Murderous Gaara wrapped his arms around little Gaara, rubbing soothing circles against his back. "It's ok, you only need me..."

Little Gaara, having never been held before, nuzzled closer, attracted to the other's body heat.

"Acccckkkk, NO! Don't corrupt hi-"

Naruto let out a shout as a rush of sand caught him square in the best, throwing him several feet backwards.

Naruto being the comedic relief shonen protagonist landed comically in a trash can.

He knocked it over and, less humorously rolled out covered in trash. He spat out a banana peel.

"Aw gawd, was that in my MOUTH? Seriously? Does this count as HUMOR nowadays? Slapstick is lame. How unoriginal," he complained.

"What are you talking about?"

Naruto looked up.

Kazekage Gaara stared at him evenly.

"Oh nothing, just kicking the fourth wall a bit. Hey wait! Is baby Gaara still being brainwashed? NOOOO! That can't happen!"

Naruto jumped to his feet, but to his immense surprise, Gaara's sand rose up to meet him, gently forcing him back.

Well, gently for Gaara. Naruto still ended up being knocked onto his orange bum.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!"

"I-need-to-tell-you-something. I've. Been. Trying. All. Day," Gaara said slowly.

"What?" Naruto asked in exasperation. "What is it? What's so important? Please tell me it's a solution to this. I don't get WHY this is happening. What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know how this happened," Gaara began slowly. "I'm not sure how it even started. But ever since I was informed I would be spending some time in Konoha... with you, I've been feeling... strange."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, so what?" Naruto asked in that boisterous way of his. "Oh no!"

Little Gaara was now sitting in murderous Gaara's lap, looking all precious and sleepy.

"HELL N-"

"LISTEN."

Shocked by Gaara's very sudden and out-of-character outburst, Naruto immediately dropped back onto the ground.

"I've been feeling different."

"Ok!" Naruto said. "What, is Shukaku a girl and on its period or in heat or something?"

Gaara frowned. "No, that's ridiculous."

"Eh, there've been weirder things..."

"Quiet please. Ever since you... showed me the true value of friendship, you know I've been different. Nowhere is this more obvious than the contrast of my past self with myself currently. And these... manifestations of myself... appeared last night. Where I... when I had..."

For the first time as long as Naruto had known him (which wasn't long, but still, a huge shock), Gaara seemed to falter.

"I...I-"

"What? Spit it out," Naruto said. Patience might be a virtue, but it sure wasn't _his. _

"I have... strange feelings. For you," Gaara clarified a little hastily, as if to get it out before he could stutter. "And when... I went to sleep the other night, I-I dreamt of you and it became a nightmare of when I was-was like I used to be. The me you first met. And when I woke up, I looked in the mirror and I saw who I used to be and then I remembered when it all started, as a child. And that's when they appeared. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I think they're... pieces of me. Pieces that don't fit anymore. I believe that when I realized I had... feelings for you... strange feelings, ones I had never truly experienced before, they confused me. They hurt at first, because I didn't understand and the pain forced my other two selves into a physical presence. I don't... I don't understand these feelings and I know they're the cause of your trouble and I apologize."

Naruto had gone completely silent, his face pale, his eyes completely frozen.

Gaara stared at him.

For a long minute they just stared at one another.

Gaara hadn't told him how it pained him to see his younger self and unable to express in words how much he had experienced, the pain he went through. He hadn't told Naruto how it pained him to see his slightly older self and being unable to express in words how much he had learned and how much Naruto meant to him, how much Naruto had taught him about people, about friendship, life.

He didn't know how to be... romantic or eloquent or expressive.

He wasn't even sure what his feelings were, how to express them, what they meant.

But he had felt the urge to tell Naruto. He knew that he had to. It was a desire he had to fulfill. He'd known when he'd requested a brief respite from his duties as Kazekage at Konoha that he had to push his emotions out of himself, purge himself of the confusion. It might not have been fair. Naruto didn't need to know. Maybe it was wrong of him. Maybe it was just a phase and if he'd just waited it out a little longer, been stronger and kept it himself... but it had been clawing at his insides.

He didn't understand the longing he felt in his muscles. He didn't understand that aching warmth in his chest, so unlike the oppressive heat of the desert he was accustomed to, had lived under all his life.

It wasn't unpleasant, but it confused him. It hurt a little too.

He had wanted so badly to see him.

And his other selves had followed him.

Now everything was a mess and he would no doubt be in trouble with a very awkward situation when he arrived back at Sunagakure, but for some reason none of that bothered him.

What bothered him was that Naruto _wasn't saying anything._

It was very strange to rely so much on one person.

The thoughts of others mattered, certainly, but on _one _person? He decided suddenly that he didn't like this helplessness. This feeling of dependence. Naruto had his heart in his hand. He could crush it and that was that. Gaara would be crushed. The aching longing could easily twist itself and choke him, bury his heart and eat it until nothing but pain remained.

It all depended on Naruto and he hated that feeling.

"Gaara," Naruto finally spoke.

Gaara felt his heartbeat rising. Vaguely, he wondered if he was sweating. But no, Konoha was nowhere near the harsh heat of Sunagakure's desert, he shouldn't be sweating-!

"I-SHIT!"

Gaara's head jerked a little. That wasn't what he was expecting hear.

Little Gaara was staring at the two of them curiously. He'd apparently pulled himself away from murderous Gaara, who looked very put out and was hesitantly hanging back. Both had very wary expressions, almost identical, on their faces. Face. Same face. Whatever.

"You said a naughty," little Gaara said solemnly.

"Yes I did," Naruto agreed. "Sorry."

"Well?" murderous Gaara demanded.

"Well what?" Naruto asked crossly.

"What do you have to say, you moron?" crazy Gaara sighed.

"W-well I don't th-think-I mean, well, I like you and all, Gaara. You're a cool guy and all, but I'm not-I don't swing-" Naruto faltered.

Little Gaara was staring at him with a scary intensity. Not as scary as murderous Gaara's though.

"Uh-uh..."

Kazekage Gaara waited. His expression was sad. Actually sad, not apathetic. Naruto didn't like seeing him look sad. It seemed so... sad.

"I-I like you," he said. "I do! And it's... uh, nice that you have feelings for me-"

"Nice?!" murderous Gaara hissed. "That's the best you can come up with?"

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted at him. "Listen up Gaara! I like you! Ok? I frigging like you and not the creepy you that terrorized everyone at the Chunin Exams and tried to kill my friends with his creepy-ass sand-demon-monster-tanuki-panda-demon-I said that already- whatever-monster because you're a lot like me and I know how you feel and I know how it hurts I really do and I can understand your pain and all I want to do is help you and relieve some of that pain because you remind me of a me and when I know you're coming I get this warm feeling in my stomach and I get excited when you're nearby and at first I thought it was expired milk but then I realized it wasn't intestinal disorder but maybe a tiny-huge crush on you!"

Naruto took a huge breath.

Whew. A lot to get out.

He'd felt it building up in his throat and it had all just come tumbling out of his mouth once murderer Gaara had opened the floodgates with his snappy rhetorical question.

Ah, the pressure was gone. He could relax...

But wait.

No. No pressure, but mortification began to set in. He felt his skin heating up and most likely burning red.

And he felt the shame.

_Oh-my-god-what-have-I-done?_

_WHY IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY ALL OF THAT? Did I even MEAN that? _

Naruto opened his mouth, then abruptly shut it. He struggled to meet Gaara's (one of their) eyes but his shame was less like butterflies tickling his stomach and more like hawks raking his soft insides with razor talons or Amaterasu. He just wanted... to die already.

"Uh-I've got a birthpartyChristdate with-uh, the mail bo- I mean milk box, no wait, milkman-?"

Gaara hesitantly grabbed his sleeve.

Naruto looked down in surprise.

But it was Kazekage Gaara, not little Gaara who for the first time in the entire day was smiling sweetly or murderous Gaara who's eyes were very suddenly soft and strangely vulnerable, who now placed his soft pale fingers around his wrist.

Gaara smiled shyly at him.

It was such a soft smile.

Naruto felt that warm, excited, scary-wonderful exhilaration flaring in his gut.

"We should... go to dinner," Gaara suggested.

"Is it normal to feel your heart in your eyeballs?" Naruto blurted out.

Gaara shook his head slightly.

"Stop rubbing my wrist like that."

Gaara let go of his wrist.

"Not because it's not bizarrely and unconventionally sexy but because I think I was having a mini-heart attack..."

_And I really, really didn't mind feeling my heart stop. And that..._

_That's fucked up, man. _

Gaara, rather quickly embarrassed, looked down. He bit his bottom lip, his eyes now on the sky.

Naruto noticed.

_He's too pretty for a boy, _Naruto decided. _It's so hard not to be gay when there are so many bishonen ninjas..._

"You know... I think you're... warm," Gaara murmured. "And friendly. And kind. Compassionate. I wish that you were-"

"Mine," Naruto grinned.

He smiled that stupid, goofy grin of his. Little Gaara shuddered and murderous Gaara grimaced, but Kazekage Gaara felt a small grin pushing against his cheek muscles. Fighting to break out into a wide smile at the boy who'd made his life-

"I could be if you'd-"

Gaara leaned in close. He had no experience and no thoughts in his head (very uncharacteristic of his usual self) except that he very, very much wanted to-

He brushed his lips carefully, waveringly above Naruto's, his hot breath brushing the blond's heated skin in a sensual breeze. Naruto's own breath caught up. He couldn't stand being so close and letting those lips move away, couldn't bear to lose some of that magnetic, attractive heat. He cautiously pressed his lips against Gaara's, hands gently stroking soft red hair and tugging him closer, closer until their chests were touching and he could feel more than his own heart beating, beating, pumping warmth all over his body.

"He'll... never leave you alone," little Gaara whispered.

"Naruto... is someone precious to you...?" murderous Gaara murmured, sounding a great deal less hostile. "And... in that way, your-our existence... becomes strong."

They both watched the present Gaara caught in the embrace of someone special, someone so different from himself yet so similar, someone who be loved and could love in return. And now, lessons learned and emotions unleashed, both disappeared into the dying sunlight.

And so ended the busiest and happiest day of Naruto's existence.

And so ended the day of Gaara's... triple existence...

Hopefully, it would be the last.

Last of three Gaaras, of course, not of Naruto's happy days.

* * *

**Word Count: 4203**

**Note: Super cracky and for some reason, dramatic? I know it's a very strange mix of humor and romance and it's very fast and shallowly presented, but hey, the prompt itself was a bit crack-ish. Still, though hope you enjoyed. **


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